The 'Kithikor Bitch Project'

by Woodsorrow [woodsorrow@the-spa.com]

Morin Shadowbane: "Hail Woodsorrow, are you ready for your training?"

Woodsorrow: "No guildmaster, I am only a bubble into hell level, but it's nice to see you got the whole sex change thing ironed out. It's been difficult to come see you because of the [Kithicor strife].

Morin Shadowbane: "What is the Kithicor strife?"

Woodsorrow: "Well, some say it's because of the undead that spawn here at night. It toasts the halfling newbies and a [borked] Dread Wolf DoT made Mr. Greyark diseased for 12 hours. However, Brin seemed pretty happy last time I talked to her. But if I start seeing piles of rocks in front of the guild house, I'm setting up shop re-selling chipped bone rods that will make Jewelcraft look like a lemonade stand.

Morin Shadowbane: "What is borked?"

Woodsorrow: "Not much lately. All these positive changes must mean the gods are going to nerf "Snare" to Level 49 spell in the next patch. There are class imbalance issues because we can solo all the way up to greens. Thanks for the broccoli armor, although we require a [new unique ranger skill]."

Morin Shadowbane: "What new unique ranger skill?"

Woodsorrow: "I can't decide if it should be "Endless Pirate Guy Targeting" or "Gnome Hairdressing." Anyway, some say the Kithicor strife has to do with excess emails sent to [true followers] of the guild.

Morin Shadowbane: Who are the true followers?

Woodsorrow: "A bunch of nice people who exchange mail about being a ranger but suffer from periodic excessive crankiness. Is there a quest to improve faction so they'll not be "scowling and ready to attack" with each other?

Morin Shadowbane: "I don't know. Sometimes the true followers have a worse aggro range than PoF with a full spawn. Maybe if you give me some elven wine I can pour them all a drink and get them into groups where they get insane experience and fair looting procedures. I'll make sure to pour Charron a double - maybe he needs a new lady friend baby ranger on his server to twink ;)"

You give 4 Elven Wines to Morin Shadowbane

You gain party experience!
Your faction with EQRangers has gotten better!
Your faction with CrankyPeople has gotten worse!
Your faction with WhatTheHellIsThat?FactioninKithicor has gotten worse!

Postscript: For some reason, the Cranky People clan disappeared. GMs were never able to recover their bodies. One year later, onelist mysteriously resent their emails back into the list causing a minor stir among the True Followers who looked back on the times of the Kithicor strife with good humor and not one regret.

Back to EQ Humor